Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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