Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
