This is not my ceiling
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
