guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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