Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
