I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
