I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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