Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
