Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
