watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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