when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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