that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
