i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
