I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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