Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
