the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize