remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize