new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
