He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
