apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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