the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
