I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
