I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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