I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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