have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
