I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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