apparently the secret to your success is patron
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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