on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sext me about skeletons
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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