you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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