i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
