dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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