Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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