If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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