so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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