Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I believe in your delicious
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