Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
