Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
please come you make the beer taste better
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
