marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
