I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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