you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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