IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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