I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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