My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
