Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
