I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
