I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
