She announced her abortion via fbk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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