So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
