my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
im on a boat
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