so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
