i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
