They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
