im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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