I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
