You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
