I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
