Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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