Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
